“I clenched my jaw so hard trying not to Laugh that it still aches when

I grin. Then you showed up to see what the hell was going on and immediately collapsed on the floor in hysterics."

A fresh and genuine laugh escaped her throat at the memory of seeing

Torren practically Lodged in his water barrel with his legs in the air whilst her master looked on in alarm. Then there was a pain in her chest, her eyes glistened, and her Laughter died abruptly.

“We should not Laugh at him now," she said.

"Of course we should, because the guy was a goofball and that's part of why we loved him. I don't think I'll ever be able to watch a smith quench a blade again without picturing the sight of Torren getting stuck in that barrel with a wet backside and a shocked look on his face. It'll make me smile, and I'll remember him. I'll also remember him showing up a few days later with the shields I'd asked for, and the orcs I'd offered them to finding out just how unbreakable they were.

And I don't think anyone's going to be able to give me a new weapon without making me think: I wonder how much better this thing would be if Torren had made it?"

“This i-isn't s‘pos-supposed to h-happen!" The words grew louder as she struggled to get them out. She looked like she might go and try to throw the anvil through the tool rack, and then the sorrow caught up with her and she began to cry instead.

Gregory thought about reaching out to put his arm around her shoulders, but decided the gesture could have been mistaken for something else given that they were both barely clothed. Instead, he moved to take her hands in his and she absently shifted to face him on the furs.

“Talina, it's become clear over the past few days that I don't know the half of who the hell you are. So I'm not going to try to tell you that it'll all be ok. Here's what I do know: Torren loved you. It's ok to feel sad that he's gone, but don't let that grief hollow you out inside because I damn well know that he wouldn't want that for you. I also happen to know how he felt before you two got together. He'd wanted to be with you for a long time, you know? I think he probably wanted you to love him more than anything else. In the end, he got you, and you got him. I know it seems cruel that he was taken before his time, but for a little while you made him very, very happy. Don't let his murderers take that happiness away, or make it meaningless.”

“How? Gregory, all I can feel is pain and... and hate. It just sits right here," she took one of her hands from him and held it to her chest. "It sits here and it burns. It burns hot until I feel empty inside, and then it freezes and I just feel numb. How can I feel any kind of contentment amidst that?"

“Fight for it."

“What ?"

“Fight for it," he insisted.

“Stop walking around the camp like a lost spectre. Stop sitting in here alone. Fiona's worried about you, and she wants to talk with her friend, and drink, and remember Lydia. Emmet can't stop looking toward this place during meal times and furrowing his brow. You know what a brow furrower he is. Everyone's worried about you. After the way you fought the other night, Grolfir asked how you were, and even Ulag was concerned. Fucking Ulag for crying out loud.

So, stop letting the pain and the hate boil in your gut and go talk to your friends. We're all waiting. That's a good first step. Some of them will probably put their foot in their mouths, but you should forgive them because figuring out what to say is hard. Listen to their stories about Torren and you'll come to know him better. Then you'll realise you aren't alone in this, and though you loved him the most, you're not the only one feeling his loss. That'll make you stronger, and after a while you'll be able to think about him again, and how happy he made you. The pain will still be there, but it won't cut as deep, it won't burn, and the memory of the happiness he gave you will outweigh it. You have to fight to get there, but it'll be worth it."

“How do you know this?"

"I don't, but it's a way forward. I'm pretty sure it's what Torren wanted for you, but you'd have to ask Janette for specifics."

Talina took an expression out of Emmet's playbook and furrowed her brow at that.

“Oh, I'm sorry. Do you remember when Janette died that night? Her spirit came to me. She told me she'd seen Torren's before he passed on, and that he said I should look out for you. He was worried about you."