“Sort of, sir. It's just that you can't really go backwards after you've ascended. Our souls expand. Our magic grows. That's what being a high elf allows, but once Santa dies then that's it. With his blessing gone it's back to being a regular old elf, and their body just can't handle it anymore. The power can't be managed. The soul can't be held.

Eventually Elina will go into the long sleep, and then she'll be gone.

You didn't know?"

“No. I didn't." Wendall sat there in stunned silence, staring at the varnished surface of the desk. Elina was a little bit snooty, sure.

That didn't mean she deserved to die for it. She'd been perfectly Loyal to him, and carried out any task he asked of her with a flawless degree of proficiency.

“Oh. I'm sorry sir, maybe this isn't such a good time then?"

"No, no. It's alright, Murty. If there's a problem you're having then

I'd like to hear about it." He smiled comfortingly, although the expression was now tinged with a note of sadness.

“Are you sure?"

“For the love of tinsel, Murty. Just ho, ho, ho, have out with it already!"

“Right!" The elf jumped as if sitting to attention.

“Sir, it's about the sex elves, sir."

“The sex elves? Fucking hell, now there's something I hope never makes it into an edited version of ‘twas the night before Christmas. Right.

Yes. I know of the sex elves. What's the problem? Are they all ok?"

"Yes, sir! Well, in a manner of speaking. It's just that we..." he paused to take a deep breath again before finally blurting it out.

“We really miss the sex."

Wendall blinked several times before shaking his head and then clearing his throat. "I beg your pardon?"

“The sex, sir. The fucking. The Licking. The sucking. The dancing. The upside down spanking. The-"

“Yes! Yes, ok I understand. Please don't elaborate any further.”

Wendall silenced him by raising a hand.