“Number four in my class. My parents were so proud.

I was going to start my internship here at Adventist in Bolingbrook.”

“Good place," Josh nodded.

“I've been there once or twice."

“But my parents were worried that I wasn't Looking for a husband. I was the only child, and they wanted grandchildren. Especially my father."

She blew out a deep breath.

“I tried to tell him. That I wasn't sure if

I even liked men. But you know how conservative some people can be.

They don't hear anything they don't want to hear.

"So my parents started bringing men by the house. Sons of other families who had left Iran when the Ayatollah seized power. And nine months Later I was married to Tabor. It wasn't precisely an arranged marriage," she said, catching his glance.

“But I never really had the opportunity to say no, either. Everyone simply acted as if it had all been agreed on, and nothing I said made much of a difference.

“He wasn't a bad man." Even to herself, the words sounded weak, as if she were still trying to convince herself. Why? It's been three years since the divorce became final. Why are you still making excuses for him? a hateful part of herself sneered.

“But he wanted a traditional wife. Like his mother. Someone he would come home to who would have supper on the table, be modest and discreet, and who would give him the children he wanted.

“Well. I had a career, too. And I wasn't going to throw it away just so

I could fit into his feminine ideal."

"Good for you," Josh said forcefully, and she smiled.

“We went back and forth, trying to reach a point we could both live with. But it never worked. He couldn't accept the hours and the time away from the house.”

She took a deep, steadying breath, and told the secret she had never revealed to anyone, not even her parents. "But it was the way he treated me in the bedroom which made me file for divorce."

Josh was silent, but touched a button to roll up the windows. She nodded gratefully, glad she wouldn't have to raise her voice to be heard.

"I told my father that I thought I might be a lesbian. He wouldn't listen." Her voice became harsh with strain. "Not me. Not his daughter.

Lesbians were deviants or mentally ill." Tears filled her eyes and her hands fisted on her thighs, trembling in anger.

“He was a doctor. He was my father. He should have known better!

“And Tabor...he thought it was my job to please him. Not his job to try to please me. It was never good between us. And by the end..." she gave a bitter Laugh.

“I won't call it rape. But I wasn't a willing partner, either."

“If you weren't willing, Yasna, then it was rape." She looked to her side, surprised by the suppressed anger she heard in his voice. Josh's face was stiff with fury.