“Support my needs?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Like what?"

She gestured across the table. "What do you need?"

I blinked, thought about it, and shrugged. She'd given me a large, empty house with a swimming pool suitable for attracting a group of hot babes to come hang out with me, a minivan, a credit card to pay for my expenses even though I didn‘t spend much, and a lot of unsupervised time to myself. "I... I guess I already HAVE everything that I need."

Mother smiled. "Guess I didn't do SUCH a bad job. You turned out to be a pretty fine young man."

I rolled my eyes. "You gave me my material possessions. Belle and the

Kramers deserve the credit for me turning out to be a fine young man

Some other boy with the resources I've had could've turned into a drug dealer."

Mother's eyes sharpened. "You're NOT doing any drugs, right?"

“Jeez, of course not. You kidding me?"

She stared at me a Little bit just to be sure, the kind of stare a lawyer would use to intimidate a witness on the stand. But a moment later she relaxed, apparently satisfied.

“Well there is one thing I'd appreciate in the future," I said, thinking back to Last night.

“What is it?"

“Could you NOT intimidate the hell out of Sam or anyone else who comes to visit me?"

Mother frowned, as if she had no idea what I was talking about.

“Intimidate? I didn't do any such thing.”

“Then what was that whole bit with you Lurking in wait for us to discover Sam's panties had gone missing?"

Mother rolled her eyes.

“I wasn't ‘lurking in wait’. I picked up the panties because I was curious and walked back into the kitchen. Once I heard you two yelling and screaming up in your room, I realized what was going on and tossed them aside. You'll recall I was in a fully Lit kitchen, reading a book and drinking wine.”

I blinked, thought about it, and sighed.

“Okay fair enough

‘Intimidating’ may just be your natural state.”

Mother's smile was all teeth. She'd taken it as a compliment. How in the world someone with HER personality had ever given birth to ME I'll never know.

“Wait-wait-wait. Sam did WHAT?!?"

"Shhh!" I shushed Belle with a finger to her lips. "Your dad is right downstairs!"