I grimaced. "So you ARE feeling jealous of the time I spend with her?"

"NO," Alice insisted, opening her hands and thrusting them at me in frustration that I wasn't getting it. "This is NOT about Neevie. It's about ME."

“I'm sorry. I'm trying to follow here. Really, I am."

Alice huffed, stared away from me, and then put her chin back on her thumbs. When she had re-gathered herself, she began, “I appreciate you being my best friend. You made me feel comfortable in my own skin at a time when my hormones were going crazy and I was going through all these physical changes that freaked me out. If it wasn't for you, I think I would have turned out to be a very different person. I might've stopped playing video games or sports and gotten sucked into the makeup and clothes crowd trying to fit in. I don't think I would've had the kind of self-confidence I have today if it wasn't for you."

I frowned. "Your words are saying thank you, but your tone sounds pretty regretful."

"I've spent years being 'Matty's best friend'. Belle and Mari have always been BFFs. Sam and Zofi have always been together. You and I were the third pair in the BTC. The other girls have always offered to help me with my makeup and update my wardrobe from jeans and baggy t-shirts, and I look back and wonder if I shouldn't have taken them up on those offers. I wonder if I turned them down because I worried that turning into a girly-girl would've changed the way you thought of me. I got a ton of one-on-one time with you over the years because of our shared love of video games and comic books. I mean, if you wanted to hang out with girly-girls, you had plenty of opportunity with the BTC.

But you chose to hang out with ME instead, and that was precious to me."

“I would have loved hanging out with you no matter what kind of clothing you wore."

“Maybe when we were twelve, but not anymore. Sam bends over, her scoop-neck sweater dips down, and all of a sudden I'm invisible.”

I winced. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel invisible."

Alice reached forward and bopped my forehead.

“You really do apologize too much."

I resisted the urge to say "I'm sorry" again.

Taking a deep breath, Alice shook her head and said, "I know I can't compete with sex goddesses Like Neevie and Sam. Not even Belle, Zofi, or Mari, really."

I frowned. "Alice, you are every bit--"

“Shut up. I'm not trying to play ugly duckling here. You don't have to tell me I have a pretty face and a nice rack; I know that. This," she raised her t-shirt back up to reveal her toned, naked body for a few seconds before letting it drop again, “is perfectly fuckable. I get it.

But let's be real. We both know the rest of them are a step above me.

Video games and comic books are my advantage to level the playing field, to get me the quality time with you that they get through sheer sex appeal. And without those, you just might lose interest in hanging out with me."

“That's not true. I--"

“Five minutes ago, you said that if I showed up wearing makeup and asked for a fancy date so you could take my virginity, you'd say ‘no’.

That I should come back when the REAL Alice showed up. You already have this preconceived notion of who I am: your video game buddy, not the most gorgeous thing you've ever seen. And even when I gave you a blowjob for the first time, you remember what you said?"

I frowned, not remembering right away.

"You said, ‘Who ARE you?'" she recited for me. "You couldn't even conceive that your ‘best buddy Alice’ had actually given you a blowjob.

Your idea of the REAL Alice was the tomboy who played video games with you, not a sexy young woman who'd grown up and had urges of her own."

I pursed my Lips and looked abashed.