Grimacing, Belle sat up straight and gave me a steady look. "I love you, and I Love being with you. But I'm not ready to settle down. We're still teenagers in high school, and there's a whole world out there to explore. You have an advantage in that you've already gotten to be with six different girls in one form or another. I'm talking plainly about sex here. Now I'm not saying I want to rush out there and fuck six different guys to measure all their dicks and then return to you after

I've decided yours is the best one for me or anything like that. But at the same time, that idea isn't really so far from the truth."

I frowned. "You need to fuck five more guys in order to... what... catch up to me?"

Belle shook her head. "I'm not putting a number on it."

“Oh, so you wanna fuck TEN guys... or twenty... or-—"

“Matty, you're being unkind."

“Well what am I supposed to be right now?"

“Jealous?”

“Damn fucking right I'm jealous."

Belle smiled brightly and stroked my cheek.

“I'm glad. It means you care."

I pouted, sighed, and schooled my face.

“Please tell me it's not twenty and I'll calm down."

Belle giggled musically.

“It may only be ONE. But like I said, I'm not putting a number on it. The reality is: I still have some growing up to do, and still have to find out what Love means to me. Maybe my love for you is as good as it gets. Maybe not. I can't know unless I try, and if

I don't try I'll always wonder."

I pursed my lips. What she was saying made sense in a logical sort of way, but that didn't mean I had to Like it.

“This is why I can't be your girlfriend," Belle continued. "If we started a committed relationship with each other right now, it would require us breaking that commitment in order for me to go out, grow up, and explore the meaning of love with other people. Once that happens, there's no coming back. Your one defining memory of me would be a breakup, and I'd lose you forever."

I sighed, arched an eyebrow, and gave her a hopeful Look.

“I smell a

‘but’ coming on."

“But..." Belle led me with a smile, “if we stay as we are now: siblings with benefits, I think we'll both be okay. I'm not your little sister, but if I WAS, would you really stop me from having a boyfriend? I think not. You were all ready to let me date Darryl at the beginning of the year if he'd turned out to be a nice enough guy.”

“And ready to pound his face in if he turned out not to be.”

"You're proving my point."

“But that was when I still had the mental hang-up over you being my