“I'm the old and boring. Been there, done that. Like there was that week or so when Zofi was all you could think about. You talked to me every day about her and it was always Zofi this and Zofi that. You literally left me alone in your bed so you could go take her on that incredible Audrey Hepburn date. I had to wake up extra early just so we could have sex before you abandoned me unfucked.”

I rubbed my forehead. First Naimh and now Belle. If I'd known Zofi's date would get me into so much trouble, I wouldn't have done it.

Well, no, that's not true. It was one of the highlights of my life. But still.

“Even this thing lately with taking Alice's virginity. That Kama Sutra shit she pulled got you SO worked up and excited. It made sex with me seem so... vanilla."

“Belle...”

"You wax poetic about Mari and her ‘body built for sex'."

“Belle...”

“And you've made CLEAR that I can't measure up to Neevie in the bedroom department, so it makes sense how you were always more excited to fuck her instead of fuck me. I'm the microwaved meatloaf leftovers from the fridge. She's the grade A prime rib from the steakhouse."

“Then why did you push for her and me to get together? Seriously, YOU were the catalyst for our relationship."

"You're right. I WANTED you to start dating Neevie. It had always been clear your attraction was more physical than emotional. I needed you to date her, get her out of your system, and realize that beyond white hot sexual chemistry there was nothing else there. As long as you were still fixated on her, you could never truly be with me."

“You WANTED us to fail? That's kind of messed up."

She shrugged Like it was no big deal.

“I was right, wasn't 17"

I scowled and pursed my Lips.

“And then out of nowhere there was Sam." Belle exhaled slowly.

“She has been super nice to me with the butt plugs and the Matty-sized dildo I still can't quite get down my throat no matter how much I keep practicing. I feel guilty for resenting her because she can be so selfless, always thinking of the needs of everyone else before hers.

You think SHE wants to abstain from fucking you? Hell no. But keeping the BTC in balance is important to her and she'll sacrifice her wants and desires to keep Neevie in the group. I know she's super in love with you, that she dreams of marrying you and having your mom for a mother-in-law, even when she tells herself not to think that stuff.

You're a distraction from her career goals. And yet..."

Belle's voice trailed off, and she bit her lip and shook her head rather angrily.

“You have NO idea how much it fucking pissed me off to come sneak into your room intent on comforting you after the whole thing with Neevie and her parents went down only to find HER naked in bed with you already. I'M the one you're supposed to find solace in.

-I- was the one who was going to nurse you back to health in the aftermath. ME. Your Annabelle. Your One True Love.”

“Then why have you always insisted that we NOT start dating or anything?"

She stared up at me, a world of hurt in her eyes. "Because I'm scared."

She said nothing further. After all those rambles about the housewife analogy, about Zofi and the Audrey Hepburn date, about Naimh and physical chemistry, about Sam and the dildo and the mother-in-law, it was a bit of a surprise for her to say nothing other than, ‘I'm scared. '

Looking down at her now, pinned beneath my weight, sobbing and now holding her hands over her face while she cried her poor little heart out, I was reminded that in the end she was just a teenager dealing with all the intense emotions of young love