“I'm SORRY, okay? I never meant to... It's just... This whole abstinence thing is KILLING me. I should've fought back when Sam suggested it in the first place. To be this close to you and not be able to hold you. Not be able to clutch your body against mine and feel your thickness filling me up from deep inside.”

I groaned and closed my eyes as well. "I know. It kills me too."

“I love you, Matty.”

“I know that."

“I want to be with you. Forever."

"I know that. But not tonight. And not any other night until this whole thing gets resolved.”

She shuddered and hung her head forward.

I was about to tell her to go home, but she looked so small and sad that just before the words left my lips, I felt my heart crack and couldn't bring myself to kick her out. Instead, I took a deep breath and said, "Look, I'm going to take a shower... Alone... But..."

She picked her head up, eyes brightening a little by the ‘but’.

I told myself I was going to regret this, but I went ahead and added,

“But we can still cuddle tonight if you like."

At first, Belle grinned eagerly. But a moment later she closed her eyes, made a stink face again, and sighed. After taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and said in resignation, “Actually... I think I'm going to go home."

I blinked. "Really?"

"You're right. I've... I've lost control. I don't blame you for not trusting me right now. I don't really trust myself. If I stay here, I'm liable to mount you in your sleep."

“If you stay here, I'm liable to push it into you in your sleep."

There was a glimmer of my impish pixie in her eyes when she looked up.

“Sounds Like a plan to me."

“No, no, I agree. It's probably best if you go home.”

“Yeah... I mean, even if none of the girls said anything, deep down they're already resenting me for being here. But if we can tell them honestly that we had a big conversation and I went home to sleep in my own bed, they'll all be pretty relieved."

My heart sank a bit as I realized this was really happening. "I'm going to miss you tonight."

She nodded. "Me, too. But we both know it's for the best."

I nodded as well, took a deep breath, and started heading for the bathroom.

“Hey Matty?" Belle called after me.

I turned to glance back at her.

"I'm really sorry about tonight. Actually, I'm sorry about Tuesday night too. I'm sorry about my behavior these last few weeks. You're right... I was getting a Little unhinged. I let my jealousy fuel all these negative emotions, and I think I Lost myself for a bit there."