“But it's a factor. I know it is. Everything's a factor."

I pursed my Lips. She wasn't necessarily wrong, but at the same time...

“There will always be someone else who's better at doing Thing A, and then there will be someone different who's better at doing Thing B.

Sure, everything's a factor, but even if we try to sum up every aspect of a relationship in terms of things than span the Length of the entire alphabet, the weight we apply to each of those individual things is different, and in the end it's the sum total of whatever complicated calculations you want to make that define how much we mean to each other."

Belle looked up at me, a little perplexed. "You lost me there for a minute."

“Yes, other girls can take my dick up their asses more easily than you.

But do you REALLY think I base a girl's value solely on her ability to have anal sex with me at the drop of a hat?"

Belle shrugged.

“Seemed to be the predominant factor in your relationship with Neevie."

“And a factor that in and of itself was nowhere near sufficient to keep us together. Plus, I think Mari still has Neevie beat in that regard.

You, on the other hand, I've always cherished having conversations Like the one we're having now."

She made a face. "These are ‘best friend' conversations or ‘little sister' conversations, not necessarily ‘girlfriend’ conversations."

“These are the kinds of conversations that keep two people together for the rest of their lives. When we're old and decrepit geriatrics who can't even think about anal sex without dislocating a hip, it's these conversations that will have the greatest weight on my alphabetical list of factors."

She looked up at me.

“What if I don't wanna wait until we're decrepit geriatrics before I get to be with you?"

I took a deep breath.

“Is being my girlfriend still what you want?"

Belle sighed and looked down.

“Which answer will get me the house key back?"

“Bow.”

She shrugged.

“The answer is no... and yes... and then no again... and then yes again. I'm not sure. My head says one thing, but my heart says another. I love you, Matty. I'm in love with you. One fight where you took away my key because you realized I was turning into an obsessive stalker doesn't change the core feelings I have inside. I LOVE you."

“And I love you.”

“But not as a girlfriend."

I took a deep breath, let my head fall back against the wall, and replied truthfully, "I don't know, actually. You've never actually been my girlfriend, not yet at least. From the looks of it, you'll have to ro-sham-bo with Alice to go next."