It also occurred to me that the three girls I had the strongest feelings for were at the table with me right then and there. I mean, casual acquaintances I knew at school would often ask me which of the six was my favorite, and I'd always deflect from giving anyone a straight answer. But the reality was that I always had a favorite. It's just that the identity of my favorite at any given time was pretty fluid and often subject to whichever one of the girls had given me the most recent orgasm.

I thought about that first night in Santa Cruz when Alice, Belle, and

Zofi had gotten into their Little speculation session about my feelings for Naimh, Sam, Mari, and Holly. There was some truth to what they'd been saying that night. With apologies to shy Mari, I WAS attracted to strong, aggressive women, and she was leaving for Caltech anyway. Alice had fit nicely into her best buddy role and Zofi had made clear she was romantically attracted to women. So that left Naimh, Sam, and Belle.

All of them I had strong feelings for. All of them I had... complicated... feelings for. At the moment, I was good friends with all three of them -- friends with benefits. Of the three of them, only

Naimh seemed to be pursuing me with any interest in becoming my girlfriend. Sam and Belle had both opted out of being my Girlfriend of the Week and I wanted to believe Belle was genuine about her desire to be my anchor, my ‘little sister with benefits’. At the same time, I had no idea how that stance might change once we were in college together with the rest of the BTC elsewhere at different schools. She insisted she was happy in her role as my ‘little sister with benefits’, and to be honest I was happier with our relationship in that form as well. But anything was possible once we were alone together in Berkeley. Would she want to become my girlfriend then? I mean, she did joke about me marrying her, didn't she?

For some reason, Sam's utter lack of pursuit Lately made me want her even more. She seemed to show up the most when things were at their worst, like the way she'd been there for me after the whole Conor thing, or even that little blowjob on Friday morning after the big fight just to make me feel better. Her absence somehow made my heart grow fonder, not forgetful. I knew she'd applied Early Decision to

Stanford and was therefore locked into going there in the fall, but

Palo Alto wasn't so far removed from Berkeley as to make a relationship impossible.

And Naimh? I was still figuring this one out. We'd tried being the one boyfriend/girlfriend couple in the BTC, to mixed results. On the one hand it had been an amazingly awesome sexual relationship. On the other hand, it had been an emotionally vacant one. Would dating again give us the chance to correct past mistakes? Was it even worth trying given that there was a ticking countdown until our inevitable separation when she left for LA? Might it be better to not even try and just accept a friends-with-benefits relationship for the months that we had left?

Could I fall in love with one of them?

Could I fall in love with ALL of them?

SHOULD I fall in love with ANY of them?

What the hell did the word "Love" even mean?

All musings about Captain Corelli's Mandolin aside, the concept of

"Love" was still something I struggled with, and I'd been making a concerted effort to not say the word itself quite so often. I'd been trying to separate my Lust for the girls from my love for the girls.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away.

Of course, it's hard to focus on what comes after when the Lust part slams her big naked boobies in your face. That's pretty much what happened to me after Mother left and the three horny babes decided to team up on me.

Seriously, I wound up flat on my back across my bed with Sam doing her level best to suffocate me in her cleavage. In her defense, I don't think she really knew how close she was to murdering me because Naimh was busy eating her pussy at the time.

The point is: I couldn't really separate my feelings of love for the girls from my Lust for the girls so long as they kept fucking my brains out every chance they got. The solution would seem to be obvious: stop letting the girls fuck my brains out every chance they got and give myself time to really think about what feelings of love still remained.

Pssht, yeah right.

That was never gonna happen in a million years.

So in the meantime, I had to accept things as they were. I had six horny babes constantly asking me to service their every sexual need and repeatedly plunge my throbbing hard dick into each of their willing holes, seven if Holly hadn't actually bailed.

Yeah, in another four months or so we'd go our separate ways to college and grow up into the young adults we were meant to be. But in the meantime, well... I had six (seven?) horny babes constantly asking me to service their every sexual need and repeatedly plunge my throbbing hard dick into each of their willing holes.

I could live with that.

Sam and Belle both went home, well-fucked and quite satisfied. Naimh and I drove out and got dinner together. And after dinner, we drove up to the hills to get a nice view over the city and the way the clouds were turning rich hues of orange and red.