“WHAT turned out this way?"

"Me, holding back."

“We talked about this keeping the BTC ‘in balance'."

I shook my head.

“This isn't about balance.”

“Then what IS it about."

“Me trying and failing to emotionally withdraw from you."

Sam frowned. "You're trying to emotionally withdraw from me?"

“Well YOU did it first."

“Me?"

“Haven't you? For months already?"

“What are you TALKING about?"

“That night... No, it was morning. Friday morning. I tried to wake you up by pushing myself into you but you woke up first and ended up on top of me. You weren't even fucking me -- we were just making out and then suddenly I came, remember?"

Sam gave me a wry grin. "Yes, I was there.”

"You're just so... so... You're beautiful.”

“You said that already." She smiled.

“Not that I mind you saying it again."

I shook my head.

“It's more than physical beauty. I actually meant to compliment your soul, if that makes any sense.”

She looked confused.

“Not really. My soul?"

I experimented with other phrases, trying to find the right one. "Your heart. Your inner nature. Your true self - yes, that's it - your true self. When the mask falls away and your true face is revealed."

Sam chuckled and shook her head. "I'm not following you."

“*Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,'" I quoted, almost to myself.

“What ?"