But Mother recovered more quickly than me, and she turned and came to sit down beside me on the couch. Reaching out, she actually took hold of my hand and held it atop her knee between both of her hands.

“Matthew, I can't say I have ever been there for you in a time of emotional need, and I'm not about to magically transform into your source of guidance or reassurance. But in this particular instance, I think it would be fair to say I understand more about Samantha's feelings for you than you do."

I blinked twice and Looked at her curiously.

“Samantha loves you. Please don't doubt that. But she's extremely conflicted about those feelings and it's not solely because she wants to focus on her academics or future career."

I frowned.

“It's not?"

Mother shook her head. Taking a deep breath, she gave me a serious Look and prefaced, "What I'm about to tell you are things she's said to me in confidence - things she could perhaps get quite angry with me for revealing -- things you may not enjoy hearing. But it's important that you understand the problem in order to properly provide a solution.

Otherwise I fear the two of you could do irreparable harm to your relationship, and that's not something I want for either of you."

I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly to calm myself, and forced myself to focus. "I'm Listening."

“Samantha is in love with you now, in love with the man you've become, but things were not always this way. For years you were just the safe

*boy' she had wrapped around her Little finger. I told you before that she loved how obedient you were to her."

I chuckled. "I remember."

“She relished the adrenaline rush of teasing you mercilessly. It gave her quite a sense of power to be able to manipulate your arousal, to push your buttons, and to stretch the boundaries of your relationship without fear of you pushing back. Your obedience made her feel safe, safe enough to test her own limits, because she knew with absolute certainty that she had all the power in the relationship."

I shrugged. "I remember those days."

"She didn't love you back then. She appreciated you, and she valued your friendship. But you were just a toy to her, a favored toy perhaps, but still just a toy. She was still attracted to the bad boys and craved the validation of their attention, not yours.”

I scowled.

“I see what you mean about telling me things I won't enjoy hearing."

“Patience.” Mother gave me a stern look.

“At the same time, you were her salvation. Much as she may have craved the validation of the bad boys, after her first few horrible experiences, she never let them touch her because she could never feel safe with them the way she felt with you. Every time some greasy fuckwit got close to her, she panicked and backed off."

I blinked. "Did the phrase ‘greasy fuckwit' just come out of your mouth?"

Mother smirked.

“Samantha's term, not mine.”

I chuckled and gestured for her to continue.

“Then came the ‘Holly incident', as she put it. I understand that you were offered sex, but turned it down in favor of saving yourself for the BTC girls."

I made a face.