“And you still don't think we're ready for a relationship now."

Mother took a deep breath. "No, you're not. You belong to the BTC, not to any one girl, at Least through the end of high school. And Samantha is going through a very difficult period of her life where she needs the stability of dependable friends, not the inherent instability of a new and uncertain romance."

I shook my head. "I'm not asking her for a new and uncertain romance.”

“And I'm very glad you're not. But we still haven't addressed the crux of the problem."

“What's that?"

"Power."

I frowned, not yet understanding.

Mother took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She hugged herself and looked away for a moment, collecting her thoughts. And only once she was fully prepared did she finally turn and look straight at me.

"I know what it's like to be a girl like Samantha: beautiful, desirable, intelligent, and ambitious. All of those things give me power, give me the ability to control the world around me. But at the same time, for any woman, that power can still be easily stripped away.

Samantha believed she was in control of the boy who took her virginity right up until he got her in bed and stripped away her power. She can't go home right now because her father still expects her to fall in line.

She can be physically manhandled if she lets a man get too close and will spend the rest of her life monitoring her drinks at bars and parties. She'll tell you she's lost count of the number of times some boy has grabbed her ass while walking through the school hallways. Men she has no interest in will leer at her and devalue her down to... well... three holes and a pair of tits."

I swallowed thickly and averted my eyes.

“And of course... a powerful young woman can end up pregnant."

I blinked and picked my head up. There was a rich note of emotion in

Mother's voice, and I immediately knew she wasn't talking about Sam anymore.

Mother pursed her lips when she caught my gaze and she sighed.

Furrowing her eyebrows, she gave me an apologetic look and explained,

“It's not that I never wanted you. I DID want children... eventually. I wanted the same dream Samantha wants: a loving husband, a fulfilling career, a nice house in which to raise my family."

She looked down at her lap and closed her eyes for a moment, clasping her hands together.

“Your father whisked us away on a surprise tropical island vacation.

Straight to the airport, no warning, nothing but my purse and the clothes on my back. He thought he was being romantic." Mother picked her head up and stared at me evenly.

“I didn't have my makeup or my clothes... or my birth control. I found bikinis and sheer dresses from beachside vendors. I found cheap makeup and condoms at a drugstore. One broken generic condom later and I found myself in an unhappy marriage and almost fatally behind on the firm's partner track. My power had been easily stripped away.”

I'd never heard that story before, and I didn't know what to say, so I remained silent, just trying to process what Mother was telling me.

She took a deep breath, sat up straight, and within moments was right back to the imperious, confident woman I knew. With an almost casual shrug, she continued, "So I doubled my efforts on the one thing I really could control: my job. By the time I finally got rid of the man

I had come to hate, my relationship with you, unfortunately, had become a lost cause. Being distant with each other had already become habit, for both of us. I am sorry for that, you know. I wish I had found a better balance between mother and lawyer. I wish I had never gotten married and simply embraced being a single mother from the start. But it's much too late for that now. You're old enough and independent enough that you're much happier with my absence than my presence, and my career has become my life.”