"Well, what did you think I was talking about?" He grinned at me, "No one as cool as me could be raised by a loser."

"Right." I nodded, “I see there's no need to work on your self esteem." “My mother would never let me call myself a loser." He gave a dramatic sigh, "If only she practiced what she preached." He gave me a pointed look, “Especially the we can talk about anything line."

“Duly noted." I nodded, ignoring the pain it caused.

“You were a mess last night, Mom. You have something going on and when I get home I'd like to talk about it with you. Maybe I can help."

“Honey, you can't."

“Maybe just talking about it will help some." He pressed.

"Get it out in the open."

"I,..it's not that easy Paul."

“Neither was telling me dad was dying, but you did it." He reminded me, “And what happened to baby boy?" He laughed, "That's who I was last night." “Paul, I am so sorry about last night." I was glad to get the topic away from the why and to the result of last night.

"I acted horrible."

“It's okay, you were drunk."

“No excuse to strip in front of your kid “Oh, please." He waved his hand, “You're right, I've seen you in a bikini."

“But that's a bikini, I was in my damn underwear and those stockings are like lingerie."

“Big deal, Mom." He shrugged, “Not like you didn't look good." “What?" I raised my eyebrows.

“I mean good as in proper, like nothing was showing that shouldn't have been, you had a shirt on." He spoke in a rush, something he always did when nervous.

“And I'm not letting myself off the hook on the other thing." I told him.

“What other thing?"

“The way I kissed you." I lowered my head, “That was very wrong."

“Don't worry about that, it was a peck on the lips." He said, as always, letting me off the hook.

"I used to kiss you like that when I was a kid." “And we stopped that because at your age it's not right. I don't know why I did it, Paul, but I'm sorry."

"You said you were lonely." He said, looking more serious now, “And you are, you don't date, you don't fool around, unless you're sneaking around. Its time mom, time for you to find a guy who'll take care of you."

“You take care of me." I was throwing out bait on that one, still stuck in that Malcolm induced son being mommy's man crap, part of last night's issues most likely.

“As much as you'll let me." He said simply, that was pretty open, I'd been hoping for, ‘I can't in that way' line, then again, would any son even think of that in the first place? I was a fucking mess.

“Hey, I gotta run." He kissed my cheek and grabbing his coffee started heading for the door,

“Stop a minute." I told him.