Once I'd overcome my initial shock at seeing the e-mails I'd begun to think it through. Obviously this was why his history was always deleted, he wasn't taking chances with me using his lap top and finding anything on it.

But if he was that obsessed with me, my adult film persona, or both, wouldn't he need me to know at some point? Was he waiting for me to discover it on my own? No, if so he'd be more obvious.

On the heels of the thought he was talking about me in his sowantmymom messages I was dealt another shocking revelation, I was the older woman he had been talking about this morning. Not so sweet, about my age, and we had a lot in common. The little shit was playing games, telling me all about me.

Like his message, he had insinuated this morning he was getting closer. I blamed last night for that. In fact I was to blame for all of it. Had I not gone back into porn there would be no website, there would be no videos and there would be no sick crush on me.

Sick was the word. He was infatuated with me as a porn star. He'd known for awhile and was most likely fantasizing about me and...worse. The thought of him jerking off to my videos sent me into a fresh wave of shameful tears. I couldn't blame him, I was the damn mother and I'd brought this on somehow.

In hindsight, the nightmares of him discovering me and being pissed off didn't seem so bad, at least that was a normal reaction. I'd rather have him hate me to a degree than be thinking of me in a sexual manner. I'd become my own son's milf fantasy.

When I'd gotten over my second bought of crying, I'd looked closely at his e-mails, looking for anything else Molly related. I found the e-mail confirming his paid membership to real Mom and an older one making him a "gold member‘ on loving mothers.

I found the one welcoming him to my website and received another kick in the stomach when I saw it was five months old. He'd known almost from the beginning of my return. I made the mistake of opening that one and groaned at the site of a picture of me, wearing nothing for but a pair of fuck me heels and a sultry smile.

“Molly welcomes you!" The caption declared.

I hurriedly got out of that one and was going to get out of his e-mails when I noticed the column on the left for folders. I scanned the name so them, there was one for each of his classes, project names, I saw one still marked ‘Jen' and paused thinking I now knew the real reason for their break up, Paul had a crush on me and had sent his sweet girlfriend packing.

Then I found the one marked ‘mom' and steeling myself, opened the folder. No amount of preparation would have been enough for what I found. There was an e-mail marked Molly and when I opened it, there were close to two dozen Links.

I clicked on several randomly and each took me to a porn site that featured my movies. At the feet of my mother, Mother of my dreams, Mom is bound to please, every movie since my return was there including the recently added Mom Takes Two.

The links to loving mothers and Real Mom were there and to my growing horror, the last two links I clicked went to vintage porn sites and contained ten minute clips of my first go around in the industry.

I sat there, tears on my cheeks as I watched the eighteen year old me riding one man while another fucked my ass and a third stood in front so I could blow him. That was enough for me to shut his lap top and push away from the table. It didn't matter what else was there, I had enough to know what was going on.

I'd thought of calling Dan-who thankfully was not in the two original Molly clips I'd seen-but what could he do? Maybe once I'd talked to Paul and had something more to go on I would tell him. I'd also have to tell him this was it, Molly Minx was officially retired again, albeit way too late.

I'd spent the next few hours doing housework, using the mundane acts of vacuuming and laundry and cleaning the bathroom to try to make the day go faster and keep my mind occupied. The latter was no help, I kept trying to come up with a way this would work out, but there was no hope for that.

This was a dual issue, my needing to explain my lies and choices, but more importantly confronting him about his feelings for me. I'd come and sat on the couch at two and the last hour and a half had consisted of me rocking back and forth on the couch, wishing I'd never looked at his lap top. But all that would have done was delay the inevitable and it was time to have a conversation that was months in the making.

I jumped at the sound of Paul pulling into the driveway and told myself to stay calm, whatever happened just stay calm, this had to be discussed, not argued. My son had unhealthy feelings for me which I unwittingly inspired and we both needed to own it and work this out. Paul was all I had, I couldn't lose my son over this.

I heard him come through the back door as he always did and hit the fridge, popping open a can of coke as he came into the dining room and put his back pack on the chair in front of his lap top.

“Hey, mom." He came walking over, a big smile on his face, “Feeling better?"

“No." I said softly, looking up at him.

“Holy shi crying?"

“ALL afternoon." I told him, “Sit down, we need to talk." Paul looked concerned, “You're eyes are all red, you been

"Sure." He sat on the other end of the couch and turning to face him I hesitated, how the hell do I start this?

“What's wrong, mom? You get bad news about something?" "You could say that." I said glumly.