“When did you find out I went back and how?" I interrupted him quickly, not giving him a chance to say what I feared to hear.

“A few months ago. See, thing is when I first got into your movies it was kind of like, wow look at my mom doing these things. You were so young in them you didn't seem like my mother. It was like watching another person." “But they did it for you, didn't they?"

“They did, but not in the way I wanted to do them with you. I never saw me with you, just watched you and was turned on by what you did."

“But I'm led to believe that changed didn't it?" I rubbed at my temples, damn my head was pounding

“After dad passed, months after, I started watching the movies again and would search for new ones. I ended up on a site that had some mom son stuff. I watched a few and at first thought they were stupid. Who would do that to their mom?"

“First reaction is always the right one, Paul." I pointed out.

“Then I saw one of the Loving Mother's movies and it was really sweet and erotic, The son was in love with his mom and she needed a good man in her life and when they had sex it was slow and sexy and fun." he looked up at me, his eyes bright, “They loved each other and it wasn't dirty, it was romantic."

“Paul, it was a movie, a fantasy. That's not how it works."

“ALL fantasy is based on reality and a lot of guys love their mom, hell it's in Shakespeare. Besides, boys already love their mom, it's just loving them in every way.

Christ he sounded like fucking Malcolm.

“Where the hell did you get that idea? You go to school with hundreds of boys your age, any of them with their mom?"

“Not every son wants his mom and not everyone who wants them, gets them. Just the really lucky ones."

“Oh, Paul." I shook my head, “You're buying into a myth created by these damn porn sites that appeal to people with an incest kink."

“If I didn't feel that way, I'd believe you." His words felt like a blow, there was no doubt where this was heading, goddamn counseling.

“After that I watched more of that kind of movie and a lot of them reminded me of us. The dad died or ran off and mom was all alone, working hard, lonely and sad. But their sons were there for them, first just to help be the man of the house, but then to take care of her in every way. Who could be better to a mother than her son?"

“I'm not..."

“Not what? Sad? You are, lonely? You won't date. You're working two jobs, stressed, still missing dad. You need someone mom and I..."

“am stalling," As was I, by cutting him off.

“Keep going, how did you find out I was back?"

“I kept watching more and more mother and son stuff and in the meantime still watching your old movies, but seeing you differently, I started seeing you doing those things with me."

“Nothing I did in any of those movies was loving."

“True, but shouldn't people lust after the one they love? Dad made the mistake of not wanting you to act like that, I'd love for you to..."

“Do not finish that sentence." I snapped, “We'll get to your misplaced feelings soon enough."

Paul narrowed his eyes and looked concerned for the first time since we'd started. Had he really expected me to be okay with this?

“Okay, I get it." He said with a shrug, “Playing the part." “What does that mean?" I demanded.