When they didn't seem to move, Daniel barked. "Get the fuck inside now!"

The three gnomes jolted on the ground and then crawled inside the hallway. Bitty slammed the door shut and glared down at them.

"Bitty?" asked Daniel. “What's going on?"

“Religion is what is going on. There's a bunch of gnomes who have decided Science isn't enough for them, so they're inventing a bullshit religion."

The oldest of the gnomes looked up at Bitty, which was difficult, and she had to twist her neck and it looked painful to Daniel. "Do not blaspheme!"

Bitty gestured at Daniel. "He's right here. Does he look angry at me?

No. Because there is no religion based on Daniel. I'm his Emissary.

I would know. Right?"

"The role of the Emissary is only to ease the transition. Across the Realm, the gnomes wait on his instruction. Our religion will allow those messages to pass from the Saviour to his people unobstructed and unfiltered."

Bitty snorted. "That was rude. Idiots." She looked at Daniel. "So, there's, um, a religion starting up by some of the more fanatical of the gnomes. Orgasms blew their minds, you might say. Each time they cum they think it's a reward from you."

Daniel stared at her. “Are you serious?"

Bitty nodded. "It's not that bad. Yet. Only a few of them exist, but I think they're spreading. Some people love a good conspiracy theory and usually it's the religious fanatics who embrace them the fastest."

Bitty poked the oldest gnome with her foot. “Like this one. Karen Something-or-Other."

“Karen Clingstone, my Saviour," said the oldest gnome into the hallway floor tile. “I am the leader of Gnomology. We embrace Science and its laws. At its heart is the Saviour of the Gnomes, Breaker of the Curse, Remover of Shackles, Supreme Ejaculatory..."

Daniel could hear the capitalization. "Stop! Enough. Stand up!"

Jasmine walked up behind Daniel. "What's going on?"

Daniel looked helplessly at Jasmine. "Religion, I think."

Jasmine had a sour look on her face. “Ugh. What kind?"

“No idea."

Karen spoke again. "Gnomology is the study of Science and its Laws...

Bitty poked her with a foot again. "Shut it."

Daniel had enough. "Get up! Now!"

After a moment, and more prodding from Bitty, the three gnomes stood and looked down at the floor.

“Okay. Explain Gnomology and how it pertains to me," demanded Daniel.