When I finally drifted to sleep it was as I sorted through strong baby names in my head. I prayed the name I gave her would be strong enough to help her survive. It was all I could do for a daughter.

I woke once that first night back. Images of Damien's threatening face above my burning body filled my mind. Screaming and scuttling off the bed I backed out of the bedroom.

The rooms were dark and my dream still had hold of me. I tripped on the furniture in a vain attempt to escape the men chasing me in my mind. The real Evan blocked my way and I screamed, while backing up into Bane. Further movement was limited by Bane's strong arms holding me to his chest. I struggled futilely against his grasp and only succeeded in waking myself up.

Kein was moving rapidly around the main room lighting Lamps. He Looked concerned as he stopped to face me. In fact, everyone Looked concerned. Christof stepped past Evan and I flinched involuntarily, begging him not to hurt me. No one moved for a moment after that.

My brain started to work fully and I realized what I'd done. I'd had a nightmare about my family and then I'd literally run from them. Explaining to them the basis of that fear would be impossible and I didn't want to try. There was no reason to remember that terrible night anymore than I had to.

“I'm so sorry," I said in a shaking voice.

“It's been a stressful several day cycles. I had a bad dream. May I have a drink of water before we go back to bed?"

Bane’s hands loosened on me and one lay over my heart; it was pounding in my chest.

“What thought made you so upset?" Christof asked softly.

“Your heart is beating much too fast."

I shook my head and pleaded with my eyes.

“I don't want to talk about it and relive it. It was a bad dream. I will feel much better in the morning."

Christof appeared curious, but Evan laid a hand on his arm. I had asked not to talk about it. Forcing me to say whatever I had thought of would be wrong, since I had asked not to. Kein agreed with Evan.

Damien took a small pitcher of sweet water from the cupboard and let me have a drink. I murmured my thanks and moved shakily back to the bedchamber. My family joined me after the lamps had all been extinguished in the main room. I felt it took all of us a long time to fall back sleep after my Little escapade.

Days passed and I wondered internally how long it would take for us to know I was carrying. I didn't ask, because part of me didn't want to know. Preemptively, I was fed bits of the root everyday. Damien informed me that no mistakes would be made this time.

The Healers came and their inspections were perfunctory. Damien explained the nausea, or morning sickness, to them and they were surprised. Listening to them talk they seemed to know less about actualpregnancyand more about the cycle that made it possible. Whether they figured it out or not, I would know eventually. I guessed it would be obvious.

As I sat on the beach one afternoon Looking out over the warm water, I suddenly felt hot and dusty. Silly really, I thought Looking down at myself. A few specks of sand clung to me, but it was hardly a bad thing. Walking into waist deep water I dunked my head and surfaced.

I stood in the sea and looked down at my skin, now glistening wet. Nope, it still felt hot and dusty. My thoughts were fluid as I stood in the sea. This day was annoying and so was this job. I hated this part of our land. No water in sight and the wind whipped up the dirt so it got in my eyes. No one else found it nearly as irritating as I did.

Such a thought was grossly illogical since I was standing in waist deep water.

Dunking myself a second time I scrubbed at myself under the water. I surfaced and still felt dry and sandy, which made no sense at all. I rubbed my arms briskly with water, but the sensation stayed.

“So your owners don't even bother to bathe you?" a voice said from just ahead of me.

“You must be sad that you have to do it yourself."