It shouldn’t be awkward, and I shouldn’t feel awkward, but I did. I didn’t want to start the conversation and I’m not sure my dad knew what to say. I sipped at my coffee my eyes focused on the trees that surrounded the back yard.

“I hear it’s Chinese tonight”. He spoke. “Do you like Chinese food?”.

Really? We were going to talk about food?

Brushing it off I nodded. “Do you?”.

“Yeah”. He smiled. “I’m not really fussy when it comes to food”.

“I’m guessing you’re heading home after tonight?”. I asked

“I am”. He nodded. “I need to get back to my pack and make sure nothings falling apart”. He laughed. “It’s not always fun being Alpha”.

I wouldn’t know anything about that seeing as I wasn’t Alpha and if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t thank you for the title.

“I see”.

I spoke.

“I do want you to come visit Leah. I want you to stay for a few weeks and meet with the rest of our family”.

“I know.” I nodded. “I want to visit as well I just have to be in the right head space first. I want to make sure everything is okay with gran first. Last night was a lot for me and-…. I paused.

I didn’t want to see the hurt or the pain in my gran’s eyes again. I pushed for her to tell me, I wanted to know so badly about everything when in reality I didn’t need to know anything.

Nothing she told me was going to affect me going forward.

“It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? He spoke.

“Well, yeah”. I sighed. “But what I realised is I don’t need to know a thing and moving forward I want to keep the past in the past. Decisions were made because it was for the best and I can’t judge anyone for doing what they thought was right”.

“That’s a very mature way of looking at it”. He smiled.

“There’s no point in dwelling in the past when we can’t change it. All that matters is we’re all here and we’re all ready to move forward. I’m tired of feeling like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders because I let this consume me so much. I’m tired and I’m done with it”. I took another sip of my coffee trying my best not to make eye contact with him.

“Every choice I ever made was to keep you safe”.

Spoke.

“I know”. I smiled. “I don’t blame you for making the choices you did. I did, I have but there was no point in being angry over something I knew nothing about”.

“I never thought I’d get the chance for this to happen. I never thought I’d be able to pull myself out of the hole l put myself in. It still haunts me to this day, and I will always regret my decision, but I was in no fit state to care for you, and I wanted you to have the best life possible”.

“And I did”. My eyes landed on his. “She gave me the best life she could, and I’ll be forever grateful for the life I have now.

“I only hope that I can be part of that”. He spoke. “And that one day when you’re ready you’ll see that you have other people out there that want to be part of your life as well”

“Is it normal to feel nervous about it all?”. I asked.